1/5/01: Waiheke Island, New Zealand

Minnesota is a darn nice place. It’s about as ecologically enlightened and civically savvy as American states come. But to the best of our knowledge, MN hasn’t yet taken a forward stand against the ubiquitous problem of doggie doo-doo in parks and public places.

Oh sure, there are laws and signs. But clean and green New Zealand takes it a step further. And the packs of dog-masters happily obey. Now, if we could only get the horsey-set to acquiesce!

1/3/01: Waiheke Island, New Zealand

We don’t have a car here, so we rely on taxis, buses, bikes, and our own six feet to get around. That’s okay. The island is small, we’re close to the main village, and one of the reasons we are here is to take a vacation from driving.

But on this particular sunny day, we decided to rent a jeep and see a bit more of Waiheke. This island is about the size of Manhattan—maybe ten miles by four miles, with lots of crags and bays. About 8,000 Kiwis live here; maybe 25,000 at the peak of the summer season. More than half of it is virtually undeveloped, and more than that is virtually useless. They’re in no hurry to dig into the future here. And of course, New Zealand ain’t exactly lacking for land. Thus the vast vistas everywhere. Here are some of the sights from our all-day tour.

1/2/01: Waiheke Island, New Zealand

Never before in our travels has the US dollar been as strong as it’s been on this trip. Never mind the free-falling NASDAQ. Forget about a plummeting economy. The dollar has been stalwart. Which means that everywhere we’ve gone, our bucks have gone farther. This was definitely the case in Italy, where we could splurge at restaurants and wine shops because the favorable exchange rate made delicacies delightfully cheap. It’s also true in New Zealand, where their dollar has descended to 10-year lows.

It’s funny, because prices here look much the same as at home—on menus, in boutiques, in real estate ads, and on grocery store stickers. Except that the NZ dollar is worth about 43 cents! Which means that most everything costs less than half what it does at home. To top it off, tax is always included in the price. And in restaurants, the tip’s included too! Thus we can visit our favorite nearby establishment, Vino Vino, and dine on filet mignon, garlic mash potatoes, roasted vegetables, and an herbal pesto for $10—while the fine wine lists runs from $10-25. It’s served with earnest smiles and breathtaking views. In total, three of us consume all the courses and drinks we can handle for about $50. At home in a comparable place, that might float one person. Might.

So you can understand if we occasionally get carried away—and buy things we aren’t sure we even need simply because they’re irresistibly affordable. Like the roadside goods shown here.

Feeling Minnesota

12/30/00: Waiheke Island, New Zealand

When we meet people, they invariably ask us where we’re from. We say “the United States” and sometimes they’re content with that answer. Other times they want to know more. So we say “Minneapolis, Minnesota.” This is usually met by a blank look or perhaps a perplexed smile.

So, if prompted, we begin an explanation that may include one or more of the following descriptive statements:

• It’s in the very middle of the country, in the far north.
• It’s next to Canada.
• The closest big city is Chicago.
• We have more than 10,000 lakes, including Lake Superior, one of the world’s largest.
• The Mississippi River originates in our state.
• It’s the home of Hercules (the TV series was filmed in NZ, so actor Kevin Sorbo is considered a big star here).
• It’s the home of Prince.
• It’s the home of Aveda.
• We have the largest shopping mall in the world—and it has a roller coaster inside!
• Our winters are long and cold and it snows a lot.
• Guys from our town invented RollerBlades and Magnetic Poetry (both commonly found in NZ).
• It’s the place depicted in the movie Fargo.
• No, we don’t really talk (quite) like that. But those hats with earflaps? You betcha!

Speech Impediments

12/29/00: Waiheke Island, New Zealand

They speak English here. That was one big reason we chose New Zealand for the longest leg of our journey. Having settled before in places where English is not a first or even second language, we favored the chance to exercise literacy, converse completely, and minimize sign language.

It was a smart decision; we feel more connected and less dumb. But dialects are thick here, from the Scottish brogue of South-Island Kiwis to ex-Brits that can sound like Cockneys or the Queen. And then there are the Aussies and Maoris and Asians and Islanders. Still, we stand out. Ours is American-English with peculiar lingo. So conversational obstacles are commonplace.

For example, on my second day here I ordered lunch at Salvage, a trendy cafeteria hangout. The conversation went something like this.

ME: Good morning.
HE: G’day, mate.

ME: I see there’s “kuh-MOO-ra” in this; what’s that?
HE: Excuse me?

ME: Can you tell me what “kuh-MOO-ra” is?
HE: Don’t think so. Don’t believe we have any of that.

ME: Well, the sign here says there’s “kuh-MOO-ra” in this.
HE: Oh! Righty-oh. That’s “KOO-muh-ruh,” mate. A local sweet “po-TAH-to.”

ME: OK, great! And what’s that it’s in?
HE: That’s a “slauce.”

ME: A “slauce?” What’s a “slauce?”
HE: It’s like a big, square quiche that we cut into “slauces.”

ME: Oh, sure. I’ll have a “slauce,” please. And the sign says it’s got “bacon” in it, but we’d call that “ham.”
HE: “Homm?” Hmmm. Fancy a “bah-ROON-uh” with that. Our local “BEE-ya.”

ME: Yes, please. So THAT’s how it’s pronounced! Just a small.
HE: Only got one “saze.” That’s “ite” dollars.

ME: Wow. About $3.20 at home. The beer alone would cost that much! Here.
HE: Would it, then. But that’s only a “FOI-vuh.”

ME: Oh, sorry. Here’s a ten. Keep it.
HE: No worries. (handing back $2 coin)

ME: No, this is for you. (pushing coin back at him)
HE: Ah! Good on ya, mate! Ta!

A Little Christmas

12/25/00: Waiheke Island, New Zealand

The holiday season “back home” can get nuttier than fruitcake and colder than hell frozen over. Both are good reasons to bow out.

But there are others; celebrating elsewhere makes you re-adapt old traditions and craft new ones, like this centerpiece made of stuff from our yard. We skipped the presents, since this trip is one big gift. But Santa still found us—or so the youngster stated—and left behind the world (a beachball globe with our route marked on it), a Mercedes (Matchbox edition), and a stuffed polar bear (free from the pharmacy with a NZ$5 purchase). Those three things brought as many smiles as a pile of PlayStations. After that, the day was much like any Christmas. Naps happened. The same songs played over and over (although here it’s “a kiwi in a kauri tree”). A few boxes from afar were unwrapped. And of course, the grill ran out of gas halfway through cooking the bird—making for some foul language and a late feast. Peace.

12/23/00: Waiheke Island, New Zealand

The solstice is one of our most favorite, sacred holidays. Especially the summer version. So we were pleased when we realized that by relocating to the Southern Hemisphere for the winter, we’d get to celebrate two summer solstices in the same year.

We spent the night like we have many others: on a grassy knoll, listening to birdsong, watching the sky turn red, and raising our glasses to the long days.

12/22/00: Auckland, New Zealand

We came to Waiheke to eat seafood for two months. So we were stunned when we got here and found none. Oh sure, a restaurant will have an occasional fish special. And the supermarket has live greenlip mussels—but it’s on the other side of the island.

When we politely decry the situation to locals, we’re fed the same phrases that keep getting repeated around the world: “It’s fished out / fishermen can’t make it anymore / you have to go to______.” Fortunately, that wasn’t the case in Auckland, where we enjoyed several seaworthy meals. And on our way out of town, we headed to the place everyone told us we had to go to: SeaMart, where we scored prawns, a 2-pound crayfish tail, sushi-fresh red-eye tuna, and a big snapper steak. Then we ferried home, fired up the barby, and ate up for lost time.

12/21/00: Auckland, New Zealand

It’s hard to believe that Auckland has less than a million people. Her city streets are brimming with stylish bistros, hip clubs, quaint shops, and funky cafes—and so are her many suburbs.

Some of them might be left over from last spring’s America’s Cup, which drew thousands of international visitors, but one gets the sense that the happy inhabitants of the City of Sails actually get out and enjoy its ample charms. We were impressed by the appealing neighborhoods and enticing shopfronts, the rich diversity, and the quaint yet cosmopolitan nature of the place, which these photos only begin to convey.

Auckland’s Sky Tower

After nearly a month on our quiet island, we were ready to get gobsmacked by the city—which, incredibly, is just a 30-minute ferry ride away. Auckland winds around the water, with neighborhoods stretching up streets, hills, and dormant volcanoes. No matter where you go, you see the Sky Tower—the city’s new and rather controversial compass.

It’s stacked with restaurants, observatories, and a casino that goes garish at night. We found its omnipresence both unnerving and reassuring. (It was framed perfectly in the window above the toilet in our B&B, for example.) And it found its way into many of our shots. Next time we visit the city, we’ll have to get inside and get a closer look.