SoulTrain

BABT10: Breaking Into Fall

Posted on: Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
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DC3_1

photo by Kirk Horsted

In our last BreakAway BreakThrough post, we went back to school. Awwww!?! Now that THAT routine is running as smoothly as a champion football team, here are some ways to escape the grind and embrace fall’s groove.

BABT10 … 11 Ways to Make Autumn Almost Awesome

  • Watch the waterfowl; stroll along a lake and listen to the loons and friends as they make their way south (lucky ducks!).
  • Don’t just jump in the leaves, create a comfy pile and chill there a while.
  • On a sunny day when color is peaking, drop everything and ride right through it.
  • Head to the farmer’s market and marvel at the bounty; maybe make and freeze up a big batch of red sauce so you can taste the sunshine in tomatoes and peppers all winter.
  • Catch a falling leaf, maple-tree helicopter, or star.
  • Walk in the woods—alone or with a favorite friend or pet—without your favorite digital devices.
  • Host a big, fat bonfire and roast savory sausages and stuff on sticks.
  • Let the face find you and carve life into some pumpkins.
  • Forgot to make your summer BreakAway? It’s NEVER too late: Take a fall vacation or even a staycation.
  • When Indian summer hits, dig out the shorts and soak up some sun—since it may be many months before that sweet, sweaty feeling arises again.
  • Cold coming? Do your Emergency Coziness Preparations by stocking up on firewood, candles and cognac (or hot chocolate).

BABT9: Back to School Basics

Posted on: Thursday, September 10th, 2009
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In the autumn, changes fall like leaves from trees.  The effect can be chilling—especially if you were enjoying a warm, summer groove and your family has a full fall plate.  

But autumn is also a good time to get back to some life goals and projects.  So if you’re raising children, don’t just phone in fall.  Harvest the opportunities and potential.  This week’s BreakAway BreakThrough offers some suggestions.
 
BABT9:  Back to School Basics11 Ways to Make Fall Functional & Fun
 
  • Allow some weeknights to be NOT routine.  Have friends over, play a game, see a movie.  
  • Teach useful life skills like putting out clothes the night before, making the bed in the morning, and packing a healthy lunch. 
  • Want to paint, pound, write?  Follow your offspring back to class yourself. 
  • Be the solution:  Volunteer at your kid’s school or wherever more heads are needed. 
  • Make homework a priority—not a punishment—and help out.  (You may relearn many things you have forgotten!) 
  • Schedule BreakAways to avoid a gruesome grind; plan vacations and breaks and use them as carrots and rewards. 
  • If your children have activities, be a supportive parent—but try not to let youth orchestra or hockey become too penalizing. 
  • Talk about the last and next summers; embrace the seasonal differences and plan cool stuff as an antidote to the school-year schedule.
  • Remember that book learning is only part of the experience; take a daily interest in social, emotional, physical and spiritual development. 
  • Relax:  Let every day have some down time and join in on the goofing off and loosening up. 
  • For God’s sake, say a prayer at bedtime and preach good sleep. 
  • Keep education in perspective:  Your kids can thrive even if they don’t become valedictorian or get a Div-1 scholarship.  (Just like you!) 

BABT8: Big Break Lake Vakay

Posted on: Friday, August 21st, 2009
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Most Americans know the timeless bliss of getting away to the lake.  I’m enjoying two weeks at my favorite, Lake Okoboji (Iowa) right now.  Amid a menu of docks, pontoons and board games are “new” toys like wifi joints, gi-normous TVs and video games.  Tempting, yes.  But in this weeks’s BreakAway BreakThrough (BABT) I must remind myself of why I am here, and then dive in! 
 
BABT8:  Big Break Lake Vakay … 11 ways I’ll keep the lake break timeless & real
 
  • Find nostalgia.  Tonight, the kids will experience their first drive-in movie.
  • Rest.  For just one day, I’ll mostly sit on the dock, from sunrise to sunset. 
  • Read.  For classic enlightenment, it’s Fitzgerald’s “This Side of Paradise.”  For modern motivation, I’ll ponder Daniel Pink’s “A Whole New Mind.”
  • Play games.  The Boy loves bocce and now knows cribbage; even the Girl finds “Apples to Apples” appealing. 
  • Get wet.  Swim every day; make heroic throws and catches with a tennis ball. 
  • Celebrate tradition.  Dare to ride the old wooden roller coaster at 120-year old Arnolds Amusement Park. 
  • Go local.  I’ll chat up fellow Boji brethren at Harold’s Fisherman’s Wharf, not Godfather’s. 
  • Love rain.  It keeps trees green and lakes blue—and offers the chance to do puzzles, play guitar and take naps. 
  • Try something new.  Okay, I’ll finally climb aboard a Jet-Ski…and likely love it! 
  • Embrace family.  All my living relatives will visit—and I’ll grill up a feast. 
  • Feel music.  I’ll soak up legends like torch-songstress Marilyn Maye, then hit the bars where the cover bands crank it up. 
What’s YOUR favorite summer escape?  Leave a comment please!

BABT7: Date Night Done Right

Posted on: Friday, August 14th, 2009
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Date night means different things to different couples, but it need not (always) mean the same old supper club, cinema, or barstool.  If you’ve got a partner—or a favorite friend—make the occasional rendezvous remarkable by firing up your imagination and destination.  This weeks’s BreakAway BreakThrough (BABT) is here to remind you that: Life is short.  Enjoy every sandwich.  And love the one you’re with. 

 
BABT7:  Date Night Done Right … 11 ways to spice up your time together
 
  • Take turns arranging the date, so that both parties plan a party that pleases them. 
  • Remember romance.  Easy gestures like flowers, compliments and hand-holding help keep the love-heart pumping. 
  • For God’s sake, go unplugged.  It’s a rude turn-off to watch your date have text with others. 
  • Ask 101 questions sometimes.  Humans change; you may not know your partner as well as you think. 
  • Shake up your destination and doings:  Mex or Mac’s?  Theater or bowling?  Skate by the lake or sex on the beach? 
  • Revisit places you frequented back in the day; reminisce and rekindle that special spark. 
  • Sure, double-date or do group-grope sometimes.  Let friends show you their idea of a good time. 
  • Assign occasional homework: Read this book; find cheap eats; make a list of unresolved stuff. 
  • If you’re in a talk rut of work, fam and gossip, speed-chat through that and then open yourselves up.
  • Occasionally, talk from the heart about your fantasies and dreams.  They’re more likely to come true.
  • Make time to make progress on your BreakAway schemes—whether summer vakay, weekend away, or one year off. 

Do you have any hot tips or stories to share?  Leave a comment please!

Kids at Camp & Letting Go

Posted on: Monday, August 10th, 2009
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Summer camp is likely the first real BreakAway that many kids experience—and also a full immersion for parents in setting their children free.  In this touching essay, Michael Gerson ponders all that and more, only to conclude that “It is also harder than I thought.  And I don’t know how to let go.” 
 
My 12-year old is gone at camp for 10 days.  Fortunately, this is Year 5.  So I not only find it easier each year, I probably enjoy it more.  After all, tweenie-kids these days:  They’ve already got SOs, 24/7 text-mania, hectic social (and school and sports) lives, and most of the answers. 
 
So in some ways, my role as a dad becomes more extraneous by the minute.  Yet it’s also the most important “work” in my life—while the job lasts—so I fight for family time, music practice, manners lessons, and a real relationship.  But do I miss those challenges when I get a 10-day reprieve?  Not so much.  I mean, sometimes a guy needs a break!
 
No doubt he does too.  Though he many not know it, campfire silliness and learning to canoe and making new friends trump texting and pool-play at the end of the day—and your life. 
 
A few decades later, I can definitely say that the most memorable experiences of my childhood included that three-week camp at the ranch.  The summer weeks that I stayed on at my grandparents’ farm.  The carefree independence of teen summer itself—when a bike and some friends was ALL you needed. 
 
I’ve been scratching itchy feet and searching for free will ever since—now blessed to take a lengthy Sabbatical now and then.  I learned how from summer vacations. 
 
So the best lesson of summer camp may be for a kid to learn to take a break…get away.  And yes, that includes from the parents. 
 

BABT6: Make Time for Music

Posted on: Friday, August 7th, 2009
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It’s time once again for your weekly BreakAway BreakThrough (BABT).  Every Friday (or so) I offer some simple suggestions to help you slow down and savor your free time—and get you one step closer to your radical Sabbatical.  Today’s theme?  Music!

Sometimes music gets a bad rap these days.  “Songs” are all attitude and chatter, and often devoid of actual singing.  “Autotune” turns voices into robots.  Mash-ups and electonica replace real instruments.  And kids skip through their playlist with the attention span of a fly.  Meanwhile, sound quality gets abused—condensed and often replayed through dime-sized speakers. 
 
Still, music is a big blessing—and can provide a magical BreakAway from the cacophony of routine monotony.  A daily course of music—real music, with intent listening—nourishes like a smoothie for the soul.  Or, as Maude (of movie “Harold and Maude”) says, “Music is the language of the stars!” 
 
BABT6:  Make Time for Music11 ways to plug in, tune in, and amp it up

  • Got an instrument?  Pick it up and start pickin’ and grinnin’. 
  • Go through your music collection and play stuff you’ve been neglecting for a while. 
  • When there’s a good tune on the car radio, don’t get out til it’s over. 
  • Support local, live performers whenever you can sneak away. 
  • Insist that your children learn to read and play music—no matter how unharmonious the occasional tussle. 
  • Always throw (at least) a buck in a busker’s bucket. 
  • Turn off all other media and annoyances, and let yourself really listen. 
  • Sing!  It’s as natural as eating, drinking, and dancing—and it feels good in your body. 
  • Weather permitting, head out to hear outdoor live music early and often. 
  • Invest in a dang good sound system; make one room (or more) a sunny, sonic sanctuary. 
  • Do like John Cage and sense the earthy music of the train, cricket, wind, and waves. 

Is music one of your ways to escape–or get closer to what matters to you?  Leave a comment please!

BABT5: Bust a move!

Posted on: Friday, July 31st, 2009
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Do you love working out?  If so, good for you.  If not, join the club.  Still, whether it becomes a healthy habit or just an occasional endeavor, taking a break to release some angst (and endorphins) is most always worth the effort.  And maybe that overdue round of golf will lead to new friends, habits or a PGA Tour.  

Yep, this week’s BreakAway BreakThrough is all about shaking your groove thang.
 
BABT5:  Bust a Move  11 ways to break out of your sedentary routine

  • Try your luck at one of today’s fastest-growing games:  Frizbee golf. 
  • Walk the dog—or someone else’s—and make a puppy happy.
  • Rent something that floats and ride upstream:  canoe, kayak or sailboat. 
  • Tune up your old bike and take a spin on your neighborhood bike trails.
  • Get up and go bowling in your spare time.   
  • Take a stroll to smell some roses.  Doesn’t really matter where you’re going.
  • Visit a batting-machine cage and take a swing at hitting. 
  • Come into the cold with skiing or show-shoeing. 
  • Tennis, anyone?
  • This one goes well with beer:  Cornholing (though some people call it bean bag toss). 
  • Whether alone or at the disco, dance (as the saying goes) like nobody’s watching. 
 Do you have any favorite moves–or BreakThrough tips to share?  Leave a comment please!
 

BABT4: Weekend RoadTrip!

Posted on: Friday, July 17th, 2009
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We all love weekends, with or without a getaway.  But too often, the weekend can become a frantic flurry of errands, social commitments, and housework hell.  For this week’s BreakAway BreakThrough, I’m prescribing that once a year (or more) you simply get up and go.  Sneaking away for a few days works wonders for opening the eyes and mind—and getting you thinking, “Geez, I should do this more often…and stay away longer!” 
 
BABT4:  Weekend RoadTrip… 11 ways to escape, entice and excite
  • Hook up with old college, fishing, or childhood chums. 
  • Bum the use of an acquaintance’s wilderness cabin; chop wood for your rent. 
  • Volunteer for Habitat, a church group, or wherever you’re needed. 
  • Visit a cool college town when school is not in session. 
  • Drive blue highways till you spot a funky hotel you like. 
  • Send the family away—and have a “staycation” by yourself at home. 
  • Go pay respects to an aging family member or old friend. 
  • Pay a pilgrimage to a memorable place from your youth. 
  • Try a yoga, meditation, or religious retreat.
  • Hang out in a posh resort during a shoulder season—when they’re slow and cheap. 
  • Board a bus, boat, or train to somewhere you’ve never traveled (and enjoy the ride). 

Do you have any favorite itineraries or destinations–or BreakThrough tips to share?  Leave a comment please!

 

Ch-Ch-Changes: Sabbatical Aftereffects

Posted on: Monday, July 13th, 2009
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In the 139 days since I’ve been back from our latest BreakAway, I’ve noticed some shifts and differences in my mindframe and routine.  Here’s a quick list of 11:

Post-BreakAway I…

  • Care less about my home (for better and worse).
  • Care less about the kids’ activities—playdates, sports, school. 
  • Feel more independent, in too many ways to mention. 
  • Feel more attached to a larger (if often invisible) world. 
  • Hear inner voices more clearly (but haven’t yet gone completely nuts).  :  ) 
  • Made some not-profound discoveries:  Sleep more; play guitar; read daily. 
  • Know for sure that few things can compete with sun, exercise, rest, and nature for offering inner peace and calm. 
  • Confirmed that the fewer clothes I have to wear, the more free I feel. 
  • Believe more passionately than ever in Unplugging; now if only my family…
  • Love street culture; islanders hang out a lot, whereas Minnesotans only do in the summer. 
  • Get hit hard by the “go-homes” after a BreakAway—but it’s not only worth it, it’s a big part of the personal growth equation. 

BABT3: The Silence Treatment

Posted on: Friday, July 10th, 2009
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Do you like music?  Noise?  Convivial gatherings and raucous laughter?  Me too.  But on the other hand, I’m finding that silence and solitude make my playlist more and more as the years go by.  For this week’s BreakAway BreakThrough, I’m here to remind you to take time out to listen to that little voice within—the one that says things like, “Take it easy,” “Take a break,” and “BreakAway—someday.”  

BABT3: The Silence Treatment… 11 ways to tune in, turn on and peace out

  • Find a place—and time of day—to meditate occasionally…after lunch?  Before bed? 
  • Sit outside with your eyes closed; hear the birds and feel the breeze. 
  • Thoughtstreams rarely stop, so give them short notice and then let them float away. 
  • Contemplate one word or idea that you’re trying to increase in your life. 
  • Eat in peace:  Savor every flavor, feel the freshness, and bask in gratitude. 
  • Lie down and do a “body scan,” in which you slowly feel all body parts from toe to head. 
  • If you fall asleep easily, keep your eyes open slightly and stare at something soothing.   
  • If “Buster” (that jerk in your head) is barking, beat him back with with an upbeat stick. 
  • Unplug before bed:  Turn off all media, digitalia, and people a half-hour before sleep. 
  • Walk alone on a country road, a frozen lake, a secluded beach, or a green hill. 
  • Expect one insight—whether profound or banal—and ponder it as you re-enter the noise.

 Do you have any favorite zen suggestions–or BreakThrough tips to share?  Leave a comment please!