In the 139 days since I’ve been back from our latest BreakAway, I’ve noticed some shifts and differences in my mindframe and routine.  Here’s a quick list of 11:

Post-BreakAway I…

• Care less about my home (for better and worse).
• Care less about the kids’ activities—playdates, sports, school. 
• Feel more independent, in too many ways to mention. 
• Feel more attached to a larger (if often invisible) world. 
• Hear inner voices more clearly (but haven’t yet gone completely nuts).  :  ) 
• Made some not-profound discoveries:  Sleep more; play guitar; read daily. 
• Know for sure that few things can compete with sun, exercise, rest, and nature for offering inner peace and calm. 
• Confirmed that the fewer clothes I have to wear, the more free I feel. 
• Believe more passionately than ever in Unplugging; now if only my family…
• Love street culture; islanders hang out a lot, whereas Minnesotans only do in the summer. 
• Get hit hard by the “go-homes” after a BreakAway—but it’s not only worth it, it’s a big part of the personal growth equation. 

Do you like music?  Noise?  Convivial gatherings and raucous laughter?  Me too.  But on the other hand, I’m finding that silence and solitude make my playlist more and more as the years go by.  For this week’s BreakAway BreakThrough, I’m here to remind you to take time out to listen to that little voice within—the one that says things like, “Take it easy,” “Take a break,” and “BreakAway—someday.”  

BABT3: The Silence Treatment… 11 ways to tune in, turn on and peace out

• Find a place—and time of day—to meditate occasionally…after lunch?  Before bed? 
• Sit outside with your eyes closed; hear the birds and feel the breeze. 
• Thoughtstreams rarely stop, so give them short notice and then let them float away. 
• Contemplate one word or idea that you’re trying to increase in your life. 
• Eat in peace:  Savor every flavor, feel the freshness, and bask in gratitude. 
• Lie down and do a “body scan,” in which you slowly feel all body parts from toe to head. 
• If you fall asleep easily, keep your eyes open slightly and stare at something soothing.   
• If “Buster” (that jerk in your head) is barking, beat him back with with an upbeat stick. 
• Unplug before bed:  Turn off all media, digitalia, and people a half-hour before sleep. 
• Walk alone on a country road, a frozen lake, a secluded beach, or a green hill. 
• Expect one insight—whether profound or banal—and ponder it as you re-enter the noise.

 Do you have any favorite zen suggestions–or BreakThrough tips to share?  Leave a comment please!

One of the best benefits of our 69-day BreakAway was that it forced my family into a less digi-centric lifestyle.  And with fresh stimuli and waves surrounding us, nobody seemed to mind.  In fact, they were happier.  But back home, we’re back to tapping and texting and remoting away the day.  But I don’t give in—or up. 

So here are 11 new & improved ways to reduce digi-drain and feel more free. 

• Avoid going to your computer or device first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. 
• Ritualize some prioritized activities, like yoga, meditation, reading, or gardening. 
• Leave ALL tech toys out of your bedroom, and make it a sacred, soothing space. 
• Don’t text and drive.
• Minimize cell-phone driving. 
• Focus on what matters (and manners):  Intentionally leave your cell phone elsewhere when at church, with friends, or having any good conversation. 
• Play games—cards, backgammon, horseshoes—and do puzzles, crosswords, and real stuff with real things you can touch. 
• Create family digi-free zones, times, days, and places. 
• Maintain guidelines for the kids:  Texting the new GF comes after reading, cleaning, and helping out. 
• Avoid giving all your numbers to anyone and everyone; use your different numbers for different people and “time zones” (friends vs. clients, etc.).
• Get outside daily, dammit; it’s so much better than any electro-thrill around. 

The job world keeps getting more co-ed with every passing year.  Oh sure, some fields are still a Boys Club—politics, money, more.  But others are becoming Girls Clubs.  And many employers prefer hiring women over men, if only to meet quotas.  Women are making great gains in the workplace, yet are still free to opt out and stay home.  Why can’t men enjoy such equality?

As this survey points out, nearly one-third of working men would make significant sacrifices to quit working or spend more time with their kids.

Survey Sez: 

• 31%. Percentage of working dads who said they would leave their jobs if their spouse or significant other’s income could comfortably support the entire familly. 
  
• 30%.  Despite a tough economy, percentage of working dads who said they are willing to take a pay cut to spend more time with their children.  

Those stats are sad, really, because the child-raising phase of one’s life is short.  Since kids are largely independent by, say, 12, most families only “need” ongoing parenting for 15 years or so.  That’s about one-fifth of a typical lifetime.  What a bummer to miss most of those sweet years, slaving away instead—especially if he would prefer not to. 

So then, why are home-dads still such a rare breed?  Here are some of my best guesses…

• Stigma.  Society still fails to embrace the notion. 
• Dishonor.  Many men fear society’s judgement—and a possible loss of pride. 
• Income.  Men still make more, on average (though that’s changing fast). 
• Double income.  Many families think they can’t make it without two revenue streams. 
• Divorce.  If you’re a single dad, staying home with your kids may be impossible. 
• Re-entry.  Leaving a career is risky business, and can result in countless compromises. 
• Training.  Unfortunately, women still do more housework—and have learned how.
• Mom Power.  If both parents wish to be home more, the woman usually wins. 
  

This is serious stuff.  After all, it’s an ageless American legend:  Dad didn’t get to spend enough time with his kids—he realizes at age 55.  He regrets it.  He realizes his career was relatively meaningless, and that he is dispensable.  Even his own kids may feel that way. 

But it’s too late to do anything about it.  So…what?  He lives out his final years with a sense of disappointment and failure?  He tries to bond with his kids in their adulthood?  He vows to be a great grand-dad?  Or he just accepts it and moves on—with any luck. 

Please pardon my predictable conclusion:  BreakAways are not just for the rich and self-actualized.  They’re also for dads who simply want to change diapers, cook healthy food for their family, and above all:  Hug their kids.  Any time, on any day. 

What’s wrong with that? 

One cool trend emerging from the global downturn is that some savvy firms that are not just firing folks, but offering them Sabbaticals instead.  Talk about civilized, sane, and exciting.  Yet employees, even highly paid lawyers, balk at the idea for obvious reasons:  fear of the future, the unknown and a real or perceived lack of financial stability. 

Yet the movement shows promise, since this may be the biggest boost for sabbaticals, well, ever.  We all wish the offers came out of rich coffers.  But if free time is the silver lining to this downturn, all is not lost!  This website goes gaga about BreakAways—but never once says that arranging one is cheap or easy. That’s particularly true when a monster-company institutes them.

• As we reported earlier this year, the European auto industry has turned to all kinds of sabbatical schemes and temporary shutdowns in hopes of riding out the recession.  
• Back in the states, at law firm Caldwater, Wichersham & Taft, a bunch of lawyers can take a “one-year, unrestricted sabbatical,” with medical bennies and one-third of their pay.  The company will match you with a nonprofit for volunteer work.  I’m in!   
• The massive UK telecom-glomerate, BT, has created a “Time Out” package that hands you a year off with 25% of your pay.  There’s another option:  Take a cash bonus to go from full-time to part-time for year.  C’mon, friends:  This is the break you’ve been dreaming about!  Yet a company rep states there is “currently a low level of interest in taking sabbaticals because of operational pressures and people’s individual financial needs.”  Harrumph.  
• One of Spain’s biggest banks, BBVA, tempts staff with 3-5 years off at 30% pay.  They guarantee you a job at the end of your Big BreakAway AND maintain your healthcare throughout.  You can even pursue other professional projects.  (Open a flower shop, caterer, or consultancy, anyone?)  You may shorten your work commitment to tend to relatives or your own education.  Spaniards can thank their tough labor laws; now, can they reap the rewards?
• And finally, in friendly Finland, Labor Minister Tarja Cronberg reports that a study on Finland’s sabbatical program—in place since their last downturn in 1996—has proven to be successful.  Young people have especially benefitted.  Now there’s a small country that thinks BIG.  

All to say:  Sabbaticals live.  In fact, they thrive.  Now more than ever.  So even if you think, “Oh, I could never do that!!”  remember that your boss may one day encourage or insist.  So keep an open mind.  Keep some savings at the ready.  And keep on dreamin’ and schemin’…

If you dream of a sabbatical but your job gets in the way, here’s the good news:  the typical American simply can’t count on job stability any more.  So a BreakAway window will probably appear many times during your career. 

Check out these stats that suggest your “job,” over the long run, may be less of a barrier than you think…

• 3 to 5:  Career changes the average person will have by age 38
• 10 to 14:  Jobs the average person will have by age 38

Depressing?  Or liberating?  How about both, depending on what chapter you’re in at any given moment and how your money-management skills are holding up. 

But here’s one last stat that IS truly depressing…

•  77   Percent of people who hate their jobs

These digits come courtesy of the professional motivation column, “Outswimming the Sharks,” by Twin Cities entrepreneur/author Harvey Mackay. His column today has some jolting numbers.  But, as usual, he is encouraging about your prospects.

So am I.  If most of us will have a dozen careers—and hate our jobs anyway—what’s stopping us from taking some transition time between gigs?  Why don’t we launch into something we’d love to do, rather than remain handcuffed to jobs we hate? 

That’s the opportunity, folks.  Your chance to swim toward calmer seas, and away (for a while) from the sharks will come. 

Be ready.

As we continue this series about finding little ways to find free time—and inch yourself closer to a bona fide BreakAway—today we propose you do drop in to the occasional pub.  Or coffee shop.  Or joint of your choice.  The idea is to see something new, rustle up that wanderlust feeling, and maybe meet someone whose story inspires you to get up and go. 

Oh sure, there may be risks, calories, and drinking involved.  But whoever said that scheming a Sabbatical should be a lifeless chore? 

BABT2:  Pub Tour…with 11 ways to shake it up—and get you stirred

• Visit “the local,” the place nearest your home—especially if you’ve never been there. 
• If you meet your barstool neighbors, ask them about their favorite trips or travels.
• Have your spouse or friend blindfold you and take you someplace new; remove it when seated. 
• Get into Happy Hour; see who gathers then and savor the savvy discount. 
• Try a place with curious cultural ties—in a theater, movie house, or ethnic eatery. 
• Mosey on into a VFW or Legion; elbow up and listen to war stories (and say thanks). 
• Stop in an airport bar—or some tavern near the bus, train, or other travel hub. 
• Meet a friend who just returned from a trip; shut up and listen to the tales.
• Find an establishment that somehow symbolizes somewhere you’d like to go—Spanish tapas bar?  Curry restaurant?  Anyplace named The Nomad? 
• Order “the unusual,” or whatever gives you a taste of something altogether different.
• Take a short road trip to a small town; wander the streets and tap that faraway feeling.  

Do you have any watering hole wisdom–or BreakThrough tips to share?  Leave a comment please!

Yuck.  While some of us rant about taking sabbaticals, the average American Joe doesn’t even get vacation or sick time.  It’s bleak.  And the stats are humbling.  3 months off?  Some folks pine for 3 days. 

Read and weep:  The average PTO time in the U.S.A. is 14 days.  Brits get 24.  Meanwhile, French folks enjoy an average of 39—ooh la la!  As Seattle blogger Lucy Miller put it, “America needs to take a vacation.”  

Years ago, Congress passed the Family Medical and Leave Act, though it still apples to only about half the workforce.  Now they’re considering the Healthy Families Act, which mandates minimal (and modest) vacation and sick time.  Hey—it’s only 100 years late, but let’s do it! 

IF IF IF the bill passes, optimists claim it would be a boon for the travel industry, while also lessening stress and burnout expenses. 

• Stress and burnout—killers of morale, health, and profit. 
• Vacation and travel—rewards for a job well done. 

Canada and most of Europe take pride in awarding employees with free time.  Even China mandates three weeks of vacation. But the sad fact is, many Americans still work for low pay, get scant benefits, and often no vacation or sick days off.  If you need more fodder for your frustration, check out this insightful (if depressing) commentary by Marshall H. Tannick.  Then count your blessings for what benefits and freedoms you DO possess.