photo by Kirk Horsted

A BreakAway is a spiritual thing.  A BreakAway brings on introspection—whether the pause is 10 minutes of meditation or 10 months in the Mediterranean.   It’s an opportunity to come face to face with ourselves–not just an escape to a “happier” place.

Many folks, it seems, deliberately resist slowing down their bodies and minds, and thus they avoid contemplation. We are too busy.  Or we find ways to numb and dumb down our spirit (e.g. TV, FB, PBR).

• Do people actually FEAR downtime?

Many Americans don’t take planned breaks.  Heck, many don’t even take their vacation allocation, as if they FEAR getting fired, bored or too deep into their own navel.

Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard (SK), a student of Fear and Anxiety, but also Love, encouraged introspection—and also understood the difference between despair and depression. My alma mater, St. Olaf College, was a place where one rarely graduated without a heavy dose of Kierkegaard (with a chaser of despair).

While my only Kierkegaard course spanked me with my only C, I feel blessed by the exposure and still ponder the wisdom. And despite the modern-day market’s onslaught of simplistic spiritual self-help, SK’s challenging works thrive on.  One need look no further than the hundreds of replies to this NYT opinion piece by St. Olaf’s reigning SK scholar (and part-time boxing trainer), Gordon Marino.

• Are  you happy!?!

“Are you happy?” has become a catchphrase of our times, with “happy” being the relentless pursuit—if not expectation—of everything from prescription pills (like Prozac) to popular blogsites (like “The Happiness Project”) to electronics shopping (Best Buy’s slogan is now “You, Happy”)

SK and Prof. Marino might rankle the unquestioning optimists, as neither seems to believe in effortless, auto-happiness.  As Marino writes,

If Kierkegaard were on Facebook or could post a You Tube video, he would certainly complain that we, who have listened to Prozac, have become deaf to the ancient distinction between psychological and spiritual disorders, between depression and despair.”

For some of us, the mental playground at times features wobbly mood swings and melancholy merry-go-rounds.  It ain’t always a walk in the park, but perhaps it beats a lifetime of Prozac dependency or, worse, dishonest self-talk and superficial soul-searching.

After all, Zen teachings insist that despair is not only universal, it’s part of the universal human experience—and offers the essential pathway to enlightenment.  When you think you’ve got it all figured out, think again.  Is there not always more to learn?  More to see?  More to ponder—for better or worse?

• Get lost:  It pays

To live—really live—is to get lost at times:  In a mission, in meditation, in the Caribbean.  How else does the spirit emerge and ascend?

Marino preaches the importance of the spirit, while also distinguishing one’s spirit from one’s ever-evolving mind.  You can have a healthy spirit—even when you suffer from depression.

These days, depression must run rampant; 10% of Americans are now on anti-depressants.  Søren would not be happy.  But he might prescribe more (not less) introspection, as does Marino:

Within a few years, e-mail and Twitter moved the art of letter writing to the trash bin. And in an age when all psychic life is being understood in terms of neurotransmitters, the art of introspection has become passé.”

Which brings us back to the beginning:  “A BreakAway is a spiritual thing.”

This website is dedicated to the notion of taking and making time to wander and float, in all forms and spaces, wherever that may lead (and it’s not always to Cloud 9).  A BreakAway forces (and welcomes) introspection—including to confront whatever despair may lurk within one’s self.  That face-off may feature…

• Longing…to step out of a rut and chase a dream
• Wanderlust…to let self and spirit run free for a while
• Escape…from an oppressive job, relationship or routine

From introspection, one hopes, comes true growth and—maybe—even true contentment, if not simple happiness.  Or, as Søren Kierkegaard put it…

There is nothing with which every man is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing and becoming.”

photo by Kirk Horsted

BreakAway hates to be so fussy about the omnipresence of screen obsession. But really, aren’t we all tiring of people who can’t drive, socialize or—brace yourself—sit on the toilet without a laptop or cell phone? According to a recent survey commissioned by Intel, 75% of respondents think it’s perfectly fine to play with your digital friend while on the toilet.

The irony here, to quote the news release, is that

69% agreed that violations of these unspoken mobile etiquette guidelines, such as checking e-mails, sending text messages and making phone calls while in the company of others, are unacceptable.”

55% agreed that the nature of business today demands people always be connected via mobile devices, even if it means taking a laptop on vacation or answering a call during a meal.”

87% agreed that it is inappropriate to use a mobile device at religious venues.”

photo by Kirk Horsted

Last week my kiddos had a short week of school because of some teacher work/shirk days… Breaks like this are great, but they also present challenges: How do parents work? How do kids stay entertained? How can we take advantage of the extra long weekend? When I offered to take my 12-year old son on an overnighter to Lanesboro—a quaint nearby river town—I was pleasantly surprised by his enthusiastic “Yes! Let’s go!” And so we did.

We were gone only about 25 hours, yet if felt like a bona fide BreakAway. Why? Because it was just the two of us. Because Lanesboro was truly charming and full of friendly folks. Because we spoiled ourselves. Because we needed a break!

So I dedicate this week’s BreakAway BreakThrough post to all parents: Make time to hang out with your kids. While they’re still kids. You’ll feel younger yourself, discover what wonderful creatures you’ve created, and be reminded of all the (right) reasons you had children in the first place.

BABT12:11 Ways to Enjoy a Mini-BreakAway with Your Son

• Drive in silence and let him read an entire book—Jaws!
• Talk about the differences between small towns and big-city life.
• Point out antiques, farm life and natural beauty.
• Walk around town with no particular place to go.
• Peruse the gift shops to buy little somethings for Mom and Sister.
• Take happy hour at the American Legion and let him have extra popcorn & soda.
• Enjoy not one—but two—long, luxurious Jacuzzis.
• Dine at a funky, hippie eatery.
• Turn him on to great “old” music (e.g. CSNY) and show him an excellent but challenging movie (The Red Violin).
• Stay up late, sleep in late, and eat a big messy breakfast.
• Drive home through driving rain while blasting music, snacking and reminiscing.

The crazy-busy lives we lead may present cumbersome obstacles to taking big sabbaticals. But hey: Everybody can sneak in an over-nighter now and then, right? Your child will thank you. And you’ll get rich — with memories.

photo by Kirk Horsted

We are not alone. Word is getting ‘round! In “Burned Out? Take a Creative Sabbatical,” Lifehacker.com’s founder, Gina Trapani, preaches about the importance of down time for HarvardBusiness.org’s readers. After all, even the guys on Mad Men do it—while those who don’t may slowly go mad.  Or worse…burn out.

How do you use time off to refresh, rejuvenate, and yes, even make yourself more productive?”

The Usual Suspects check in. The executive coaches endorse life/work balance while gently promoting their services. A few of the Overworked & Underpaids complain that only the rich and lucky can afford a career break. And of course, BreakAwayGuy (me!) rebuts that “the folks that I know who have done the most exploring and traveling just tend to be stubborn, non-conformist types.”  In other words (as I point out in the 5 5-word mantras), sometimes it’s not a financial decision.

photo by Kirk Horsted

At the impressive UnSummit unconference Saturday, I hosted a session called “You: Unplugged” for a roomful of truly screen-centric souls. I was prepared to speak heresy and spark controversy. Imagine my surprise when, instead, they turned out to be moderate and mellow—with a good sense of concern and humor about their choices.

I’m hoping you inspire a digital riot. But instead of torches and pitchforks, they’ll have glowing iPhones.”

How do you do it? Do you unplug when traveling? Do you use GPS when in a new place? Don’t you get lost? Do you reply to comments on your blog?

It drives me wacko sometimes—being surrounded by people who choose to tap at their little screen rather than engage in the world (and people!) around them. But this article asserts the upside: communication, especially with teens. After all, getting your kids to connect is a timeless challenge. So we need every tool we can muster.

Psychologist Thomas W. Whelan, author of “Surviving Your Adolescents: How to Manage and Let Go of Your 13-18 Year Olds,” offers this practical advice about becoming one with your kids via textology…

Instead of seeing the whole text thing as an enemy, see it as an ally.”

My philosophy is, `Stay in touch.’ E-mail, cell phone or text — it makes no difference to me”

One way to strengthen your relationship is to let the kids show you how to do it.”

As for me, unplugging—or at least setting some parameters and periods that are tech-lite and human/nature heavy—remains a worthwhile approach too. But as the people (of all ages) in MY life text ME more and more and I contemplate staying close with my kids as they mature, adapting will also be worthwhile.

And I must admit, watching one Mom get all giddy when she received a text from her daughter who had just bowled her first strike, well, that was pretty sweet and made us all LOL.

Photo by Mykl Roventine

When hundreds of techno geeks and tweeting freaks gather on October 10 to discuss social media (live and virtually), I will take the stage to preach the gospel of unplugging.

Are you “connected” 24/7? Do you sleep with your digitalia?  Does anything else turn you on? Does your commitment to SM compromise your relationships IRL?

Can you even envision YOU without IT?

Join Kirk Horsted, purveyor of radical ideas like escaping and unplugging to discuss (or is it debate?) the value of constant connectivity, hyper social media, brazen self-disclosure and overall all-at-onceness.  Maybe—just maybe—we’ll also shoot the breeze about silence, Sabbaticals and the art of Being Here Now.

photo by Kirk Horsted

I did my best thinking when not under pressure…. I had all sorts of fears that we would lose clients, be forgotten or have to start from scratch. And none of these fears came true. ….it is a simple time-planning event. I put the plan in the agenda, work out the finances and tell the clients.”