Our obsession with smartphones festers on. Go to a social spot like a bar or a rock concert and most everyone is focused on their phone. Students list “no wifi” as a reason they won’t attend U of MN football games. And the chatter about the latest & greatest phones (and the challenges of obtaining one) remains shrill.

And yet, survey sez:

• 67% of Americans reported they would feel completely relaxed if they were entirely “off the grid” (without any electronics or Internet access).
• 52% say that having a smartphone makes it harder to relax.

Source: Princess Cruises

You can’t crack a newspaper these days without reading about youth anxiety, depression, and disorders. Could there be a connection here? Are we forgetting how to talk out our problems—and our dreams? Reducing life to texts and emoticons seems so … simple. Yet depending on a “smart” phone is, apparently, stressful.

People still flock to Mindfulness training, a Westernized version of Buddhism lite. In those sessions, you learn to sit. Just sit. Relaxation is the goal; meditation provides the path. And after several weeks of practice and quiet coaching, you discover some equanimity and quiet your mind.

There’s not an app for that (actually there are, but that’s another rant altogether). In fact, the best app for relaxation these days is to turn off and away from the several screens that now run your life.

Rest assured, there is life—and calm—beyond your devices. Rest assured.

My dear pals at Meet, Plan, Go! continue to publish my (almost) monthly column about Baby Boomers and travel. This September article (which I finished in early October, natch) is designed to take your excuses to the nearest shredder. Enjoy!

You know the scene: I’m at my desk, avoiding “real” work, and surfing the web. In this case, I’m exploring Boomers and long-term travel. I find an upbeat, popular article with 555 comments, leading off with this one: “This is crap. As a boomer I am broke and live paycheck to paycheck, like all the other boomers I know.”

Beware the self-fulfilling legacy

“This is crap?” What a buzzkill! One must feel sorry for this guy; who’s putting Dire Drops in his water? I don’t mean to go all power-of-positive-thinking here, but really, he’s not likely to escape his quandary or his paucity without a serious attitudinal U-turn.

So let’s help Mr. Boomer Bummer out. Let’s help any of us who are trapped in pessimism about prospects for a dream. Just for yucks, let’s take life’s big bummers and turn them inside-out into opportunities to fly away from, well, hell? Sometimes, what’s (initially perceived as) bad news could be a prophesy for a BreakAway.

Morphing pitfalls into paradise

• You’re fired! Most folks will work at least 7 career jobs. Some will end rudely. Is that tragic? Or could it be the best thing that ever happened to you? Be ready: Sudden freedom could be your chance to shake it up and change your life plan—potentially on a blissful beach somewhere.
• I don’t love you any more. That’s bad movies. And possibly heart-breaking, yet rarely out of the blue. Why not have the next laugh, store your stuff, and pack your bags for somewhere far away from Mr. or Ms. Over N. Done? Heck, you may even meet your next love interest.
• It’s time to down-size. Boomers are facing this now, by the millions. Yet everybody will—at various ages and stages. When that pad has become too big and the possessions too piled up, consider upsizing your life with a remote pause that refreshes.
• Loved ones are passing on. Death happens. Reflection follows, not to mention denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, eventually, acceptance. Maybe a sojourn to somewhere peaceful would help you move on; maybe it’s to a place once shared with the departed beloved.
• Your (inheritance) ship comes in. Although our “that’s-crap” commentator lives paycheck to paycheck, Boomers stand to inherit around $12 trillion—and may pass along up to $30 trillion to their offspring. For some, prosperity from heaven will arrive. If your ship comes in, why not set sail for a life-changing voyage?
• You’ve paid off a big loan. Could be college—yours or your kids’. Could be house, cars, cabin, or credit cards. Save something first, please. But then a celebration of your new! improved! debt-free life might be a brilliant reward.
• You survived a health scare. They’re facts of life: accidents, diseases, conditions that can kill. When your time comes—and the doctor finally says, “You’re cured,” it’s time to party. Dinner and Dom? Sure—in France! (For the record, my own RTW trip was largely a reward for surviving a year-long recovery from falling off of a roof.)
• You’re nearing retirement, but… Know what? Most people fear retirement. And many who get there don’t do well; they often experience loss of purpose, depression, and boredom—or just drive their spouse crazy. Recommendation: Try temporary retirement. You’d test-drive a car, right? Retirement is a much longer, more relevant ride.
• You’re already broke. Bummer. Or maybe not. If Broke Dude above is convinced he’ll never get ahead at home, why not be broke someplace else? Maybe he’d thrive in an less pricey country where he could teach English and save some money. Some great travelers buy a one-way ticket, get to work, and make it work.

If you just read this and are thinking, “That’s crap,” the author apologizes—for provoking you so and for your ill-fated predicament. This column was written for the folks who are willing to open their eyes and minds to the idea that bad news may be inevitable, but need not be the end of the world.

A world of possibilities awaits. Godspeed!

Every now and then (as this blog testifies), dreamers, schemers and BreakAway artists of all kinds come together and have gatherings (large and small) to celebrate and inspire this mission and cause called career breaks. Ask me, “What’s the best part about this movement?” and the answer is easy: The people. The same response you have when you finish a big trip, right?

One of those local gems (with worldwide cred) is my new friend, Joe Antkowiak. We’ve chatted at a few meet-ups, and then carved out time for a solo conversation. I was so moved by his stories that I asked him to share them here. He said yes, of course! (Thanks, Joe!)

So please take in his adventures and advice (like “Surround yourself with people that inspire your dreams…”) And next time the BreakAway gang gathers, why not join us? Wherever you want to go, Joe will help point you in the right direction.

• So you’ve been traveling your whole life, right? Give us some of your early history.

Actually, my parents were the first to introduce my sisters and I to traveling. My parents love the outdoors and hiking, so they usually planned a family trip every year to one of the national parks. We had a small pop-up trailer and a station wagon which they used to transport the five of us and our distractions to places like Glacier National Park, Cheyenne, The Great Lakes, Colorado, etc. My two sisters and I would sit in the back of the station wagon playing silly games like Mad-libs or the license plate game. It was great for about a week and a half until the childhood emotions and frustrations got the better of us and we decided to head home. I have very fond memories of those trips. As I grew older and graduated college, I didn’t really travel. It actually took one of my ex-girlfriends to re-introduce me to the travel bug. Now it’s a full-on addiction.

• Yet you have a real career. What do you do, and how do you escape it and find good work when you return from long-term travel?

I’m a software developer. I’m lucky because in my industry volatility is the norm, so it’s easy for me to jump from one opportunity to the next. I’ve found some success as a contractor. But unfortunately, my wanderlust and inability to stay at any one place for a long period of time can make it difficult for me to find a full-time position that’s willing to take me seriously. In any other industry, I might struggle more….or maybe I’d flourish more. I’ve survived some of the toughest times in IT, like when the bubble burst in 2000 – 2002, and the 2008 downturn. I have a bit of a safety net, so I don’t worry about getting through those times too much. However, it was a bit difficult to find work when I returned from 4 months in South America. I had lost a lot of knowledge and bombed many of my interviews before I got my sh*t together and finally found something. You definitely have to plan for the difficult times.

• Like me, you love the Caribbean. Unlike me, you’ve mastered SCUBA. How did you do that, and what islands do you love (and love less)?

Initially, I thought stuff like SCUBA was out of my reach. I was never a great swimmer, but I was down in Costa Rica for a week in the winter, and on a whim I purchased an exploratory dive package in Tamarindo. A couple hours training in the pool and then two dives the next day, and I was hooked. A year later, I scheduled a vacation in St. Maarten for a week and looked up a dive center and signed up for the PADI Open Water Certification. I was incredibly lucky to get Michel Wouterse as my dive instructor. He’s one of 300 course directors in the world and has taught everyone from adults to children to people with disabilities. I almost didn’t pass due to some difficulties I had with the swimming test. He didn’t want me to give up, so he actually did the swimming test with me (along with another instructor). They coached me through the entire thing. I feel indebted to him for that. He runs the Caribbean Dive College down in St. Maarten now. I would recommend him to anyone that wants to learn SCUBA. The URL for his school ishttp://www.caribbeandivecollege.com/ As for favorite islands to dive, it’s difficult to top The Galapagos Islands.

• You’ve traveled alone. Tell us about some of those adventures, and what might be some of the benefits of heading out solo?

Traveling alone is not for everyone, but if you can handle it, it’s almost the only way to go. As a solo traveler, you’re more approachable by the locals or any other traveler for that matter. Maybe it’s your vulnerability and the need to make friends that a person traveling solo will project, but people are more willing to approach you and get to know you when you’re alone. Also, you don’t have to deal with group-imposed travel restrictions and drama that happens when sometimes traveling with other people. As a solo traveler, you can mix it up to your liking. As long as you have a good personality and check any attitude that you might have at the airport people in other countries will generally treat you nicely and with respect. Everyone loves getting to know a solo traveler. There are so many adventures that I’ve had alone or after meeting people during my trips.

• Skiing Whistler-Blackcomb mountain in British Columbia and getting an all-day snowboarding lesson from one of the coolest snowboarding girls I’ve ever met.
• Swimming with schools of Hammerhead and Galapagos Sharks off Gordon Rocks in the Galapagos.
• Staying at a Vineyard which was also a Bed and Breakfast in the Languedoc region of southern France. This included me renting a motorcycle and riding it down some of the most picturesque roads in that region.
• Partying it up on the rooftop of my hostel in Lima, Peru and getting lessons on how to make a proper Pisco Sour by one of the hostel managers.
• Walking the beaches of Pabo Colonio for hours on end in Uruguay. I encountered a capsized sailboat on the beach at sunset and captured some of the most amazing photographs of my trip.
• Riding a scooter around the island of Rapa Nui (Easter Island) and visiting all the face sculptures

• You’re a home-owner—another obstacle for many would-be sojourners. How do you manage that responsibility and yet get away?

That was probably most difficult part of the equation. In 2009, I was sitting on an Adirondack chair in Southern France reading Vagabonding, and the author addresses that issue by suggesting you can rent out your house. I’ve never thought of myself as a landlord, but I knew I’d have to concentrate on that solution if I had any chance of being able to travel for an extended period of time. I spent the next 4 years finishing off the basement, making repairs, and generally getting the house ready to rent. During that time, I started to downgrade my life and realized that my very modest house was actually too big for me and I would have no desire to return. I would have sold it if I was in a better position on my mortgage, but since I was horribly underwater on it, I’ve rented it out. I also hired a property manager to take care while I was away. The city wouldn’t give me a rental license without someone in place, but now that I’ve returned and I see how stress-free my life is with him managing things, I’ve decided to keep him on indefinitely. It’s easier than you would think as long as you get the right things in place.

• Are you still planning a big BreakAway for later this year? What’s the latest on your itinerary, and how is the planning going?

For now, I’m concentrating on saving money so that I can go on another big trip; potentially the middle of next year. Meantime, a friend and I are talking about a snowboard trip to Park City, Utah during the Sundance film festival in January. And / or, I may try and rent a motorcycle in California and ride through the wine country sometime spring or summer of next year. Small trips for the interim. Then again, if winter becomes unbearable, I might have to head down south for some fun in the sun.

• That’s ambitious—and impressive. So are there any other locations you long to linger in? Or…what might be your ultimate “dream trip?”

“Dream Trip”? – There are so many possibilities. Although, I’ve been toying with heading back to South America and visiting the countries I missed (Colombia, Brazil, Bolivia) and then continuing to Southeast Asia for some diving, and possibly onward. I think I’d like to leave for a year or more. I’ve got my sights on Europe too – Greece, Spain (I want to do the El Camino de Santiago de Compostela), Ireland, Turkey, etc. I think that on my dream trip, I would hope to open up more and throw some caution to the wind. I’m pretty adventurous, but also somewhat conservative. I’d like to get involved in some volunteer work or teaching potentially. It’s great seeing all the sites, but after awhile, I think there’s a need to experience something more meaningful. I’d like to push myself outside of my comfort zone and see if I can contribute something to the rest of the world somehow.

• You speak French, right? Are there any other skills or talents that help you do what so many only fantasize about?

I’ve been speaking French for the last five years. Or, I should say that I’ve been attempting to speak French for the last five years. Learning a new language is tough and the only way to get better is to immerse yourself in it. Unfortunately, Minneapolis isn’t really someplace that you can immerse yourself in French language and culture. With that, I do the best I can by splitting my time between duolingo and conversation groups. I have a hope to someday spend a couple months in France with a host family. However, that’s still a ways off. I’m not sure about other talents. I’d say that if someone wants to travel for long periods of time, that they’ll need to learn how to manage their money well. They’ll also have to learn to live without. What I mean by that is to be comfortable without the good things in life all the time. Long term travel will teach you to be adaptive as almost nothing goes exactly according to plan. Learning the language definitely helps.

• And finally, any other tips or words of inspiration for the rest of us?

Surround yourself with the people that inspire and support your dreams. You’ll never get where you want to go with all the negative static that can permeate your life from being in the wrong environment or listening to the wrong people. Learn to be assertive about the things you want – there’s nothing more frustrating than settling for an experience or thing that you didn’t really want. Be prepared for bad things to happen. It feels like everyone has something stolen from them while traveling at least once in their lives. Use it as an opportunity to learn that your possessions are things that can be replaced. Easier said than done, I know. I knew a guy that once he arrived in Peru, had his entire bag stolen. Instead of going home, he re-acquired what he needed and moved forward with his plans.

We’ve heard it all before – You have one life to live. How many of us really take that statement seriously? I would posture that most of us make excuses for the things that we do not do. I still do that quite often, but I fight those negative thoughts all the time. Conformity is a powerful force, and one that is detrimental and soul-sucking to us all. I think Jack Kerouac said it best with “Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain.“

I love collaborating with the good people at Meet Plan Go and I’m really enjoying cranking out a monthly “Big Boom Roadshow” column for them.  I dedicated my latest verbiage to shameless (but sincere) promotion of their Big Event on 9/20.

• 10 Reasons Why Boomers (and Beyond) Should Attend NYC MPG

So if happen to find yourself near NYC tomorrow night and are plan-free, you’ll thank yourself for joining guru Sherry Ott and friends for an evening of long-term travel inspiration and information.

It’ll set you back all of $99, but it may change your life. Many, many people who have attended Sherry’s (and even my) gatherings have found themselves in faraway lands doing fascinating things within a matter of months. I’m often agog—and even humbled—by the possibility and power that’s generated when like-minded, strong-willed folks come together.

Sometimes we just need a lead, a laugh, or a little kick in the butt. You’ll get all that and more. You’ll leave with your head spinning and your heart flying. High fives to Sherry and the good people at BootsnAll for making this shindig happen.

Oh my.  A month has gone by. I last wrote about taking vacations—including from devices—and must have been truly inspired by my own ideas! But thus the blogging sabbatical ends. And speaking of inspiration…

Local lottery winners say, “meh”

A married couple not far from here just won nearly $12 million, and seem appropriately pleased but surprisingly unfazed by their luck. The Star Tribune interviews the lucky couple here and shares these heart-warming quotes…

“I have a fabulous job, and I like to work. I actually have to work tonight,”

says Wife, of her waiting-tables job at the charming Lake Elmo Inn.

“I don’t think it’s going to change our lives that much,”

ponders Husband.

“We really hope it doesn’t change the people around us,”

suggests Wife.

There you have it: Real winners! Just folks that are suddenly rich, yet obviously have been living rich, content lives all along. That’s what can happen when you do something approximating our 11 Commandments of Fiscal Fitness—which are as much about living well and sanely as they are about money management.

• Is winning the lottery really “winning?”

Follow-up stories on lottery winners are rarely pretty. Too many “winners” quit their work, spend like crazy, and eventually end up jobless, possibly penniless, and even friendless.

Not long ago, for ex, media reported on a Minnesota young woman who had won millions and, some years later, mostly drove around her small town solo in her Hummer—while locals rolled their eyes and rumored that she’d spent it all, lost her career, and alienated her community.

Sometimes, all we need is right in front of us. As for all we want? Sometimes that stuff is just stuff, and we may be better off without it.

Best wishes to this model couple a few miles north of here. If I ever recognize them in a nearby pub, I’d like to buy them a drink and make a toast to their smarts.

I recently returned from my annual two-week retreat to Lake Okoboji, a favorite (and sometimes decadent) hideaway since childhood. This journey included a high-school reunion, a family reunion, and a dreamy wedding on a farm: People, hugs, fresh air!

I return to reality with minor depression and stacks of chores, as is typical after even a modest BreakAway, so must remind myself (and you) that it’s so worthwhile.

People hardly vacation any more, as we’ve ranted about herein 555 times. Folks blame work, commitments, kids’ events, and money. My take? Lame excuses. I wonder if they punt R&R time out of fear, inertia, and screen-life addiction. But who wants to play shrink about all that? Rather, let’s focus on why we “get away” in the first place: Vacation FUNdamentals.

• Vacation FUNdamental 1: FAMILY!

Today’s parents are way (too?) into their kids—at least those fortunate offspring whose parents got the memo and have the jingle to enroll them year-round…in everything. But my gut says about 99% of these kids know they ain’t gonna go pro, get sick of lessons and practice, and would love some time with loving rellies who take them to the lake, the farm, and the drive-in.

Yet let’s be real: Time with kinfolk can be tricky. Family gatherings can serve up strong emotions alongside gooey cole slaw. But isn’t that a reason to gather anyway? Would you rather leave ill winds to blow or clear the air? And who knows? Auntie’s cookies and Grandmas’ hugs may become treasured memories when grizzled coaches can no longer criticize your defensive stance.

• Vacation FUNdamental 2: FRIENDS!

For many, friends are the new family. That’s great; you can’t have too many friends or enough support. Yet moving and mobility often means that BFFs now live all over, from San Diego to Buffalo. So reconnecting may mean more logistics, but also more adventure.

Why not fly to that that faraway “family” now in Boston? Who says the kids wouldn’t love a road trip to someone’s cabin Up North? As time goes by, we all realize that the most important things are not things: They’re friends you can count on, extraordinary experiences you create, and memories you make. That’s what friends are for. Take time and take pics.

• Vacation FUNdamental 3: FUN!

FUN! Maybe it’s become a trite word. Well, so what. It still means something. To this sometimes coach (and too-often sport critic), FUN is #1 for most any team in any sport—if you want to build loyalty and longevity (and wins!). FUN is #1 motivator to get us off our device and into a movie, festival, or boat. FUN is the #1 incentive to leave town.

Oh sure, the packing, schlepping, work- and house- and dog- arranging can be a buzzkill. But once you’re on the road or in the air? Nice! Once you’re landing in Cali or landing a walleye? Sweet. Once you’re on the hiking trail or on a high that does not include your high-rise office or getting rebounds in 99-degree gyms? Bliss.

It’s not that difficult. It’s pretty simple, really, and essential to well-being; that’s why employers give vacation time away. Please don’t deny yourself (or your family and friends!) some free time for some fun.

You love family, friends, and fun more than work, right? RIGHT!?!

You’ll thank yourself later. So will your loved ones. And know what? You’ll probably be a more productive worker, too.

Thank goodness the good people at Meet Plan Go offered me a gig to write about Baby Boomer travel and career breaks—or this blog might get lost on Summer BreakAway. That said, I’ve been enjoying (and enduring) some travel myself, with more to come—the best excuse around for not writing or living on-screen.

Some recent research about Baby Boomers highlights the bad news about the finances of many Americans born after 1964 (not that the finances of younger folks are much better). This is not new news. But as Boomers start entering variations of retirement, the Boom Doom & Gloom becomes much more relevant.

So that’s what I wrote about, and try not to think about too much. MPG and I just want people to realize their long-term travel dreams. Take a break from careers now and then. And have enough eggs in the nest to be able to fly away from work and worry. You know, right!?!

Read it and reap, and try not to weep. And, please, don’t be like the bad Boomers: Try to stash away some cash if you can.

Happy sails, *kirk

USA Today (today) offers a story/survey about workers in their 40s and 50s. And—guess what!—what they want most in their careers is better work-life balance and less stress. The only thing regarded as more important is—guess what!—money.

Survey sez:

Among the changes that midlife adults want to make in the next five to 10 years:

• 82% want to give back more;
• 80% want to pursue one or more of their passions;
• 75% want to make their lives more meaningful;
• 74% want to travel more;
• 53% want to pursue a new hobby;
• 48% want to make a change to their personal life;
• 46% want to make a change to their professional life.
• One piece of cool news: 91% are very or somewhat satisfied with their lives.

There’s discussion of changing careers, meaning, purpose, giving back, “a desire to do something different,” and more. We get quotes from HR mavens, career coaches and authors, and the folks behind Life Reimagined—a recent AARP offshoot endeavoring to move beyond the old and retired stigma. Good idea.

Funny thing is, though, there’s not one word career breaks. Or what this site dubs Temporary Retirement. Not even vacation gets a mention.

Ever notice how WORK-life balance seems to all about work? I mean, take yourself for a week (or a year) to the lake, to the mountains, to that faraway destination of your dreams: That’s when you realize there’s so much more to life than work!

Our Career Break Movement isn’t dead. It’s just gone to the bathroom. Keep the faith…

As another Hallmark holiday happens, I pat myself on the back (this time) because I remembered to send a gift—one that I know my dad will enjoy. One hopes this makes up for the dozens of times I probably forgot to even call. With every passing year, I appreciate my dad more and feel grateful he’s still kickin’, fishin’, and golfin’.

This dad can only hope my kids feel approximately the same way, now or later. And as for gifts, I’ll take an unplugged Sunday supper—with all devices put away. Maybe help me with the gardens (I have too many). And, oh yeah, cook me dinner: procure, prep, serve, clean up and put everything away. PBJ will do. Just prove you could feed yourself if I kick the bucket list– and lavish me with five KP-free hours.

• Dads who rock: Caught in a hard place

A recent WashPost article highlights the rise of the “stay-at-home” dads; a Pew Research Center study found that the number has doubled over the past 25 years. Some dad-advocate groups, meanwhile, contend that the actual number is much higher.

First, let’s acknowledge the stupidity of the label, “stay-at-home.” I mean, what parent raising their kids as a primary purpose lounges around their crib? They’re erranding, heading out for activities, volunteering at schools and daycares, and managing logistics that might rival a wedding planner in these crazy-busy times.

Frankly, it can be a pretty sucky job. Several studies—that focus on moms, naturally—have found an alarmingly high incidence of depression in professional moms who take lengthy career breaks to raise children. I remember one touching essay by a mom longing to get back to work. By most mid-afternoons, she felt like burning down the messy house and swilling her first glass of wine.

Yet for dads, not only has the chief-parent option been largely discouraged, the unflattering stigma has kept many men from even considering the possibility. So how come—for decades now—women’s lib has been letting them roar and gradually march toward both equality and freedoms of choice, while men have been expected to work work work?

We’ve fought for the rights of women, minorities, gays, the disabled, and more. But the mere mention of asking for improvement in areas where dads often get short-shrifted (like primary-parenting and custody) elicits snark, disbelief, or even anger from, well, many women.

Meanwhile, women can now, with any luck, choose between work, parenting, and yes, career breaks. Speaking of, it’s no coincidence that research finds that the vast majority of career breakers are women. Same holds true for maternity/paternity leaves. Don’t like it, men? Shut up and get back to work.

• No one gains from oppression

So on this Father’s Day, I salute the admirable way that males have adapted to radical gender role changes at a rapid pace—and generally welcomed women into the workspace, the sports fields, and the VIP positions. Above all, I commend the dads, “stay-at-home” or otherwise, for the countless ways they put others first to make the world a better place.

My dad worked his butt off—with full-time positions featuring long hours and moonlighting jobs to boot. But he was always there for me—and he still is.

That holds true for millions of dads in this country, and billions more worldwide. So happy Father’s Day, guys. You rock. Let’s just hope that, in the future, that increasingly includes the option of rocking your children to sleep, while putting your day job on hold.

My last BreakAway was exactly two years ago. Our extended family (11 of us!) flew off to Italy for 17 days. You know you’re alive when you go, in a matter of hours, from watching your son run with fleet speed in the state baseball tournament to healing jet lag on a Tuscan terrazzo.

Travel always comes at a cost—not just the cash kind. In this case, we stole our son from his team; how did we know they’d still be alive in the big tourney? But you make choices—and sacrifices—to make long-term travel happen. Basking in the Tuscan sun and drinking in the wine, cuisine, and people cured all second guesses.

That Euro journey took epic planning and coordination. 11 people? Three families (with homes and pets and jobs and … )? 35 days away from busy-busy for my four—who moved on to Scandinavia for the last three weeks.

Sure, it would have been nice to stay home and win State. But landing in Italy and watching the kids have water-balloon fights in a mountain village makes for an even richer memory.