Want to be one of these euphoric fans? You need to master Ticketmaster. Good luck with that…

Ever wonder why rock stars suddenly smash a perfectly good guitar? It’s because they failed to get tickets to a show they really wanted to see because of Ticketmaster. They’re not alone. I see a LOT of live shows. And also have too many smashed guitars.

Taylor Swift is coming to town, and it’s the hottest ticket in, like, forever, dude. Lucky for me, I didn’t even TRY to get a ticket, though I would like to be there. Just thinking about trying to score nearly provokes an anxiety attack. How can they be so inept? So inconsiderate? So blatantly carefree about how much everybody hates them?

Yep, they’re even getting sued by fed-up fans. Standing O for that!

As written up countless time in this here blog, live music is about the best BreakAway around that doesn’t require a suitcase. Heck, it’s PROVEN by SCIENCE to be even better than yoga!

Since the beginning of dirt, it remains one of the most exciting, sacred, and coveted BreakAway experiences around for millions…billions?…of people. Few rituals can take you so far away from whatever ails you, bond you with an instant tribe of like-listening besties, and (usually) take you back home to reality in a matter of hours.

Whoever is responsible for passing out those communion wafers better respect the cosmic power they hold. And the easy money they can make by simply not f*cking up too bad. TM fails at all of it. ALL of it! (Except for the making money part. In$ane amounts, increased exponentially since TM and Live Nation inexplicably were allowed to merge in 2010.)

Can you say (and lose at) MONOPOLY?

How bad is it? A Rolling Stone expose on the concert industry (TM) found that only ~25% of the tickets sold directly even get into the average Joe/Jane’s hands. The rest? Brokers, bots, crooks, reselling platforms… And oh, by the way, guess who owns and runs one of the biggest of those? TM.

So…TM is going to sell you tickets, complete with all sorts of huckster-ish presales, secret codes, $$$$ credit card front-of-line perks—things that sucker fans into thinking they have a fair and real shot to get good seats at a fair price. But that rarely happens any more. When it does, call it dumb luck. And enjoy the show. Cuz next time? Who knows?

(Let’s not even mention their fees. We’d run out of swear words immediately.)

And yet, long before official sellout—and sometimes before tix even go on sale—jump online, and there are thousands of seats for sale. Many of them by TM or some subsidiary (or some exec’s nephew). For insane prices. It ain’t right.

It’s not the first time we gullible, innocent consumers have been snookered big-time. But it’s one of the worst. And no one is doing anything about it. Oh sure, a few senators face the camera (not the music) and say, “We really oughta fix this!” Then they go back to fund-raising, or free lunch, or whatever they’re (not) doing.

{CONFESSION: I once saw a US senator come in late to a big, sold-out show. With a posse of about 20 people. Take primo seats. And look so-o-o-o bored and out of place. They left early…and were followed out by thousands of livid, glaring faces. I’m still grossed out.}

Meantime, as fans with a credit card, we keep fighting for a seat, screaming into the abyss, and then maybe somehow showing up at the show to have a blast anyway. Because (in my case in recent years) we’ll do almost anything to see McCartney, Madonna, Simon, Springsteen…once more or maybe for the first and only time. After all, they are the musical gods that have provided the soundtrack to our lives.

{Insert commercial: PLEASE generously support your local artists and venues. I mean, I saw a GREAT show in a dive bar for…FREE…last week. Everyone was happy, including the performers. Their pay? Whatever we threw into the empty pitcher that got passed around.}

Something—everything!—is wrong this pitcher. I mean picture. I’m glad I don’t have a daughter with her heart set on seeing Taylor. But my heart goes out to the millions of parents in that position. Your kid may fault you. But TM is to blame. We deserve better.

This concludes today’s rant. Stay tuned for the encores.

Rock on and thanks for listening…