Bye-bye dressy-ness; the post-pandemic workplace dress code has gone decidedly informal.

• High heels go the way of the necktie

According to Bloomberg, heading back to the office after the pandy BreakAway has inspired a lot of women to kick the high heel habit. And dress more for the home office than the executive suite. Makes sense, because heels never made much sense anyway. Neither did neckties, but we wore them because, “You never get a 2^nd chance to make a 1^st impression.”

I recall enduring that choke for about a million impressions, though the splash of color added a certain je-ne-sais-quoi to otherwise drab days and settings. Having never tried heels, I can only imagine that for most feet, high heels hurt! Sorry, ladies; it wasn’t my idea.

• Sneaking into new fashions…

Meanwhile, white sneakers are in—so learned one young lady who, says the article, showed up in heels to impress the execs she was meeting with…only to find that they were all clad in white tennies. Which begs the questions: Why are they called sneakers? Why are they called tennies (unless you happen to be playing tennis)? And why white? And after Labor Day? How terribly tacky!

I don’t mean to be flip here. After all, the article points out that many women suffered serious injuries when returning to the office in heels after two years of flip-flops at home. (To say nothing of the many men who gagged in neckties.) “The body doesn’t like any kind of abrupt change,” states a famous podiatrist. Amen to that. Returning to the office is abrupt change enough: Perhaps “dress to impress” has officially left the building.

• What is casual dress, anyway?

There’s plenty of press about the shift (or is it a pivot?) in attire as people gradually, and probably begrudgingly, ditch their jammies for, well, not heels, but for whatever the new clothing ethos is. Some, I know, love showing off their $300 trendy t-shirt from the boutique on the North Loop. Others might be perplexed, especially if they already had a work wardrobe buttoned down. As one friend told me,

I tried casual and failed. Now I’m back to my suits and ties. I look better and it’s just easier. Think I’m overdressed? So sue me…

The point here remains: The world of work is changing so much, so abruptly and randomly, that even “what should I wear?” has taken on new meaning. And baggage. That’s probably a good thing, even if we all endure some new awkwardness.

In my case, this raises a new issue: What shall I do with all my neckties? I mean, I shipped ~100 to someone who works in a church and was happy for some freshies. Yet I kept a bunch that are beautiful, may come in handy, or were designed by Jerry Garcia. Silk art, maybe?

Oh well, I have a big closet. And as Jerry said, “In my world, everything is legal.”